When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
