I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Drake has all the answers
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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