I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
