Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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