fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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