i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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