in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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