So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
