your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
