R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
