I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
