Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You are a genius and a whore.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
