somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
