I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
