i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
