i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
