Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
