Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
