i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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