ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
