whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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