Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
