if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
