Rock
Scissors
Fuck
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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