walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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