i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
