reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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