seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
