Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize