she was so not down for the gang bang
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize