I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize