I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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