He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
