I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
