He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
