Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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