Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
