dude i'm inner monologue high
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize