I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
