I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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