Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
