That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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