sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
