Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
