i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
