1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
