Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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