I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize