I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
we're so committed to being not committed
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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