They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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