im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
