I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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