Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
