super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
