We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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