Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Enjoy the penises
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
