I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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