The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize