i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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