are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
