Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
