I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
