Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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