chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i think i just lost a toe
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize