fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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