Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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