My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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