i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
