I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
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