Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
