Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
